The Drunk Test
Keyan Kousha
Keyan Kousha


  • hueristic

The problem with selling broccoli is the cost is tangible and the benefits aren’t. Broccoli buyers maybe see the benefit when they get their annual blood work done. Broccoli buyers also might enjoy broccoli if they incorporate it in a recipe that masks flavor and leverages texture. But broccoli isn’t what people want.

People want pizza. People want pasta. People want deep fried ravioli. People want pleasure — now. People want what drunk people want: they want pizza, they want to dance, they want to laugh, they want to fight, and they want to fuck. People don’t only want pizza and pleasure but they mostly do.

A good way to determine if you’re selling broccoli is to put it through the drunk test: are drunk people more likely than sober people to sign up, hit buy, or increase their usage? If they are, your value proposition is viscerally obvious. If they aren’t, you’re selling broccoli.

There are of course many good reasons to sell broccoli. After all, not everyone is drunk and we know at least some people decorate their refrigerators with vegetables. Just don’t sell broccoli without very good reason, because without very good reason to buy broccoli, people buy pizza.